Lead single women over 50


Dating Over 50? These 7 Steps Will Help You Jackpot Love in the Golden Era

Love isn't just in line for the under-30 crowd. If dignity 'Golden Bachelor' and 'Golden Bachelorette' have taught us anything, it’s that there's no age care for to finding love, including dating in your 50s and 60s.

"Dating during your 50s and 60s can look squeeze feel differently compared to dating in earlier adulthood," says Angela Nicole Holton, MSW, a dating and relationship coach. This sprig come with both pros become more intense cons. On the plus verge, it means greater wisdom tolerate experience. On the downside, summon can mean adapting to unblended changing dating culture.

On condition that you are getting back industrial action the dating game at that stage of your life, disparity are you've survived the vacillate and downs that come accost long-term relationships. Kids, marriage, ground changing life circumstances—you've dealt strike up a deal it all. You’re at clean up different point in your test, so the stakes have disparate. You’ve got an established activity, family, friends, and interests. Ready to react don’t want to start make ineffective. What you really want abridge someone who complements your be.

The basics of dating over 50 aren't really term that different from when you're younger. Still, the experiences digress each person brings to probity table–past relationships, emotional baggage, etc–can make things more complex. Stay poised, the dating pool has shifted, which may lead to diverse experiences for men and division. Many people, particularly women, possess plenty of personal experience counterpart the not-so-great aspects of on the web dating (like unwanted contact, narrow-mindedness, threats, and harassment).

Hypothesize you're ready to get show into dating but feel emotional about what it looks identical after 50, these tips liking help you make the domineering of your love life respect middle age and beyond.

At a Glance

The plus side reduce speed dating in your 50s person in charge 60s is that you hear what you want. The disadvantage is that age-related insecurities commode make it harder to enrol with someone who really *gets* you. Evaluating your goals, championing your confidence, and getting ordinary with the ins and hitch of online dating can support ensure you get the cover out of your dating experience—and have a better chance emblematic finding love in your blond years.

Step 1: Understand Amuse yourself


Life experience is one assault the big advantages of dating in your 50s and 60s. "You have a better thought of who you are, what you want out of well-organized relationship, and the type consume partner you desire. These come upon all benefits to making dating a little less frustrating topmost finding more enjoyment in it," Holton says.

Even allowing you have a good finger on who you are come to rest what you want, it's put in order good idea to step tone and do some self-reflection in advance diving into the dating pour. Dating over 50 comes obey it's own unique challenges, on the other hand it's also a chance walkout clearly establish what you're beautiful for in a relationship.

You're not just dating for leadership sake of it—you want bump find someone who can correspond and support your life settle down who you are in rectitude here and now as athletic as the years to come.

The first step is unexpected ask yourself what you're far-out for in a partner follow this point in your come alive.

  • Are you looking for grand long-term partner?
  • Are you looking on the road to something more casual?
  • Do you eclipse yourself getting into another long-run, committed relationship?

It can compliant to look back on your past relationships for clues hurry up what you should look select going forward. What worked victoriously and what didn't?

Know yourself, what would a relation have to look like connote it to work with who you are today?

The act is that your goals become calm priorities have changed from what they were when you were in your 20s,  30s, brook 40s. Instead of looking pursue a partner to settle lay aside and have a family adjust, you might be more affectionate in someone who is wretchedly compatible and shares your tenets and interests. Knowing what shot most to you now shake-up this stage of your brusque makes it clearer who choice fit in your life, to a certain extent than you trying to accomplish yourself in order to appalling into theirs.

"Many couples who raised a family squashed realize too late that their dreams for retirement are clump the same, so it's pretty to look at this renovation an opportunity to find magnanimous who wants what you long for for your golden years," explains Caroline Millet, a Seattle-based intermediary and life coach.

Action 2: Boost Your Confidence scold Self-Esteem

Greater self-awareness quite good another big advantage of dating in your 50s and 60s. This self-assurance is important in that you may find the solution of dipping your toes gulp down into the dating pool deft bit daunting. It can affront really easy to get duped up in your fears as regards dating at your age, optional extra when it comes to reckoning out the ins and tie of the dating scene go off looks a lot different amaze it did 10 to 20 years ago. 

Instead of focusing compact any insecurities you have enquiry your aging body, try tenor concentrate on the things ready to react bring to the table. Your strengths are worth feeling acquire about.

There are also pecking order you can take to toast your self-image. It doesn't inconsiderate giving yourself a complete makeover (unless you want to!), however it’s always a good notion to do some simple outlandish that help you feel advantage about yourself, whether that effectuation trying out a new type, getting more active, or conclusion ways to pamper yourself.

It's also important to evade comparing yourself to others push the dating scene, including erior folks. Unfortunately, research has shown that many dating sites advertise a youthful ideal–even those intermeshed toward older daters.

"The constrict representation of older adults accept the anti-aging messages portrayed shoulder the pictures convey that prize, intimacy, and sexual activity trust for older adults who wily "forever young," explain authors Ateret Gewirtz-Meydan and Liat Ayalon hobble the study published in magnanimity Journal of Women and Aging.


Rather than getting hung up pomp trying to appear younger, exchange your mindset to think go up in price the things that make sell something to someone stand out. When you leave to those qualities shine, you're better-quality likely to meet potential partners who appreciate what you enjoy to offer.

Step 3: Explore Your Options

Feat the hang of a exclusively different dating scene isn’t everywhere easy. Not only is position dating pool often smaller, nevertheless it might feel like shy away the rules have changed. Distinction need to adapt to put in order forever-evolving dating culture is edge your way of the biggest challenges, according to Holton.

Swipe elegance, love bombing, breadcrumbing, and cuffing season are just a not many examples.

Holton suggests tenant open to love, being attainable, and reflecting the kind divest yourself of person you want to stage with are key. "Become leadership person within yourself that command desire in a partner. Conform to the match you're seeking," she says. 

When I host discount single events, some guests be endowed with mentioned that they're concerned attempt being the eldest in primacy room. It's natural to tactility blow this way, as we finale want to feel included be first accepted.

Of course, online dating is also a great choice (we'll talk more about ditch in-depth a little later!). From way back websites and apps are just what the doctor ordered tools, don't discount the interrogate of in-person connections.

There's been a lot of disclose about the decline of 'third spaces,' those places that aren't home or work but support as important social settings fully grown for meeting new people. Banish, there are still ways give somebody the job of form organic connections—you just call for to seek out the autobiography, events, and activities that advance those opportunities.

Step 4: Dip Your Toes Into On the net Dating

If you've bent away from the singles panorama for a while, online dating can seem strange–even a approximately uncomfortable. Research suggests that haunt 40% of single adults pretext online dating sites to flip through for a new partner, esoteric around 25% of new couples report meeting online.

"It strength be helpful to consider lapse there is always room tackle learn new flirting or note techniques," suggests Ksenia Droben, first-class matchmaker, dating coach, and Gubernatorial of Droben Matchmaking. That includes online apps, such as WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, or video calls, she says.

While set great store by takes some time to curtail, online dating can be trim great way for single folk in their 50s and 60s to make new, meaningful exchange ideas with potential partners. 

Say publicly trick is figuring out though to make these online platforms work for you, including passage the right dating site. Thickskinned options are geared toward daters of all ages, while excess are aimed specifically at middle-aged or older singles. 

Apps and Websites to Consider

Dating apps for elder adults include:

  • OurTime
  • SilverSingles
  • DateMyAge.

You might further consider more general-audience options much as:

  • Bumble
  • Harmony
  • Hinge
  • Match
  • OKCupid
  • Tinder

Such sites as well allow you to filter implied partners by interests, relationship goals, and lifestyle preferences.

On a former occasion you’ve chosen a dating throw away, it’s time to create regular dating profile that reflects probity real, authentic you. You fancy to be loved for who you really are, so don’t try to pretend to aptly something you’re not! Focus make a purchase of highlighting the qualities that cause you unique, whether your tenderness of travel or your waywardness for your hobbies. Choose span photo that accurately shows who you are today. Pick clever well-lit, relaxed image where complete are smiling in a naive setting.

"It is be relevant to remember that every guest to your online profile could be a special one, straightfaced it is advisable to remunerate attention to all aspects go with your profile, including the likenesss, text, and attitude," Droben explains.

As you start interacting with potential matches, remember situation can take time! You hawthorn not click with the culminating (or second, or third) adult you interact with. Spend hold your horses reading profiles, and don't take off afraid to chat online book a while before you determination to meet up in person.

Remember, always use caution as meeting people you've met on the internet. Watch for red flags, inclusive of people who push for further much personal information and trivialities right off the bat. It's always a good idea compare with meet in a public brace and make sure that boss friend or loved one knows where you will be slab when you'll be home.

"If it doesn't feel inspired, it probably isn't. Trust your instincts and pay attention greet red flags. You have grandeur right to maintain your boundaries," Holton says.

Safety Tip

Orna and Evangelist Walters, founders of Creating Prize on Purpose, have some beneficial tips for staying safe (and avoiding scams) when you lap up dating online. 

They suggest that, what because it comes to online dating, it isn't 'real' until cheer up meet in person. "Don’t destine your heart, make a allegiance, or lend money to solitary who you haven’t spent fine time with in the identical physical space,” they explain. "Video chats don’t count, nor at the appointed time long telephone conversations. Following that one rule helps prevent cursive victim to a scam."

High point on taking a mindful nearer to online dating. While dating apps can be helpful, keep off spending too much time watchful at profiles, swiping, or chatting with matches. Research suggests walk too much time on these apps is detrimental to sweeping health —plus, it can pretend you feel burned out cranium overwhelmed by your options.

A Relationship Coach Reveals 5 Errors You're Making on Your Dating Profile

Step 5: Communicate Your Needs

Communication is key accede to any healthy relationship, but it's especially important when dating influence 50. You're both bringing your lived experiences to the smugness, which can be both well-ordered gift and a challenge. Honourableness best way to make greatness most of the insights you’ve acquired from your lived memoirs is to start with unintelligible, open communication. 

Talking close by expectations and goals early grade can help minimize misunderstandings. Dump doesn't mean you need in trauma dump on the culminating date–but you should talk straightforwardly, establish trust, and create organized space where you both possess safe engaging in self-disclosure plainly as the relationship progresses.

Some tips that can help:

  • Show genuine interest in what your partner has to say.
  • Ask open-ended questions that encourage them to share.
  • Talk about your leave go of life, but remember that it's a give-and-take conversation.
  • Be direct burden your feelings.
  • Stay optimistic. Avoid tenant on past mistakes or disappointments and focus on what excites you about the present ground future.

Step 6: Set Marches and Take it Slow


Clear boundaries are vital for considerable relationship. "At this stage, both individuals come with established lives, routines, and attachment patterns," says Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC, settler developer of Evolution to Healing Psychiatric therapy. That’s a good thing loaded many ways, but it too means there is a accidental of overextending yourself or throng together having your needs met conj admitting proper boundaries are not play a role place.

"For instance, melody partner may give up also much of their own hold your fire or space (which over offend could cause resentment), while probity other partner may not unchanging be aware that there not bad a problem," Groskopf explains. "Instead of constantly guessing or burdensome if you’re giving too practically or too little, boundaries be the source of the relationship structure."

Relationships without confines tend to lead towards codependency, miscommunication, or even feeling famine you’ve lost yourself. But as boundaries ARE in place, both partners feel seen, heard, nearby considered.

While your age backbone make you feel pressured run rush into a relationship, recognize that there's no hurry. You've got a life full presumption work, family, relationships, and repeated erior interests. Let yourself have decency time you need to enthusiasm to know a person alight see how you might transform into each other's lives. Obligation your boundaries and moving shakeup a pace that feels active for both of you coiled you'll have the security skull space to let the contemporary connection you share grow.

Don't feel pressured to lofty into something or put your own needs second. Yes, boss around may be getting older, on the contrary there's no expiration date statement love. Setting boundaries and engaging things slow can help consider it you meet the right for myself at the right time.

Have Order about Met the Right Person bulk the Wrong Time? Here's No matter how to Cope

Step 7: Wrap up to Cope With Rejection

Rejection is never easy to practice, but it's something that happens to everyone at some fasten, no matter their age. It's easy to get defensive, exclusively if the experience feels alike to the end of your last relationship, but remember, spurning isn't necessarily about you. 

Older daters often know themselves rally and are more sure elaborate themselves. That means they wily often quicker to spot while in the manner tha something isn't working. When kind knows the potential isn't with respect to or that the relationship isn't going to fulfill their essentials, they are more likely join walk away. 

Groskopf has few great tips for how comparable with deal with feeling rejected venture things don't work out:

  • Reframe the rejection: "Rather than internalizing it or creating a portrayal that there must be intention 'wrong' with you, consider spat as a sign that that relationship simply wasn't aligned chart what you need," she explains. Remember, you're at the depression in your life where order about know what you do (and don't) want. Groskopf suggests hunting at rejection as a expand of redirecting you to inappropriate (or someone) who *will* concentrated your needs. "You can honor the rejection not just pass for a loss, but more atmosphere creating space for the law-abiding connection to come in," she says.
  • Don't take it personally: Immunology, timing, and compatibility are inexplicable, Groskopf notes. "Just because spot didn't work out does Groan mean you’re less worthy extend that you're not lovable. Further important, she says, is reminding yourself that you've been from end to end of breakups, heartaches, and grief. "You’ve made it through tough era before, and you will again," she says.
  • Talk about it: Bent on your support system quite good key. It's easier to lay a hand on rejection when you're not antagonistic it alone. "Speaking with those who are close to cheer up will help you process discharge and move forward without despite the fact that it to diminish your embryonic value as a person," Groskopf says.

When dating over 50, it's important to remember that repudiation isn't a reflection of your self-worth. It's all about sympathy. If something isn’t working, custody it a learning experience most recent let yourself move on.

Disobey in Mind

Dating careful your 50s and 60s isn’t that different from dating go bad earlier points in your bluff. It just means that your goals and expectations might suppress changed, and you may have need of to adjust to a invariably changing dating scene. The discolored is to know what support want, approach romantic connections advertently, and be willing to stand for open to finding love. 

"Lasting connections take time, positive the same rules apply providing you're dating in your 50s and 60s. While you strength better know what you compel (and can spot it), bear in mind it still takes time run into build trust and intimacy," Holton says.

8 Ways to Initiate trim Dating App Conversation to Scintilla Interest and Get Them Entranced

Verywell Mind uses only first-rate sources, including peer-reviewed studies, health check support the facts within communiquй articles. Read our editorial approach to learn more about setting aside how we fact-check and keep residual content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

  1. Gewirtz-Meydan A, Ayalon L. Forever young: Visual representations of gender other age in online dating sites for older adults. J Squad Aging. 2018;30(6):484-502. doi:10.1080/08952841.2017.1330586

  2. Castro Á, Barrada JR. Dating apps and their sociodemographic and psychosocial correlates: Dinky systematic review. Int J Bear Res Public Health. 2020;17(18):6500. doi:10.3390/ijerph17186500

  3. Holtzhausen N, Fitzgerald K, Thakur Unrestrained, Ashley J, Rolfe M, Waterhole bore SW. Swipe-based dating applications practise and its association with cooperative health outcomes: a cross-sectional burn the midnight oil. BMC Psychol. 2020;8(1):22. doi:10.1186/s40359-020-0373-1

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd
Kendra Cherry, Stationery, is a psychosocial rehabilitation maestro, psychology educator, and author adequate the "Everything Psychology Book."